Sloppy browsers ignore this tag:
<link rev=made href="mailto:brewhaha@ecn.ab.ca">
Sloppy people reinvent it.
Why do I believe in intellijent life on other planets?
It haz not tried to contact us.
Drunks report niinty-eight percent of Unidentified Flying Objects.
The other two percent stem from aircraft veering from their flight plan.
Thirty percent of those reports stem from hoaxes perpetrated by enemies of those drunks.
Bubbles are in my think tank.
Do not count bastards in your family before you hav been to a lejislature.
Letting fear of failure overcome your attempt makes failure certain.
"Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them."
--John Ruskin
"Who knew that dog saliva can mend a broken heart?"
--Jennifer Neal
She was so blonde - she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Moriarty Realty: When you need new Holmes.
I am Moderator of Borg. Your topic is irrelevant.
Ingglish duz not bohroh frum udher langgwajez: It tayks dhem down a blaind alley and gohz thruu dhehr pawkets fohr luus ruulz uv speLing.
Gnat cheerly I all ways spell check bee four send ding.
Vulcan: A planet that Newtonian Mechanics proposed, and which turned out to be the mass of the sun's gravitational field; a gravitational echo.
--Paraphrase of "The Planet that Wasn't" by Isaac Asimov
Science arose from poetry--when times change the two can meet again on a higher level as friends.
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The Law of Hidden Ajenduz:
Nobody ever does anything for the right reasons.
Gospel is liberal. Law is conservative. You cannot believe them both at once. At best, you can choose which one will cause less suffering in the future.
A sharp tongue and a dull mind are found in the same head.
Ignorance is bliss, until you see it in a mirror.
Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.
'Dumbledore says people find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right,' said Hermione, of J. K. Rowling fame, in the Half-Blood Prince, on page ninety-five.
The Law of Trends: The bible was the world's first self help book, for centuries the only one, and it is still the best if someone who believes it is reading it. The few schools that are allowed to give exclusive weight to the bible hav no credit in scholastic debate.
SherLok Merfy's Third Law of the New World: This is the slow world, where people first use chemicals and devices to reprezent experience and people. Understanding yourself is a last rezort in the New World.
SherLok Merfy's Second Law of the New World: This is the slow world, where people often die before they find a mate.
SherLok Merfy's First Law of the New World: This is the slow world, where a machine often breaks workable connections, and people break the rest of them, because a machine caused a misunderstanding, exaggerated a lack of comprehension, or showed a degree of difference that did not exist.
Jones' Second Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Drucker's Point for the Soloist:
"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work."
--Peter Drucker
Nesen's Foundation for Collaborative Optimism:
"Nobody believes the official spokesperson, but everybody trusts an unidentified source."
-- Ron Nesen
Universal Policy of Service:
If you want it good and cheap, then it will not be fast.
If you want it fast and good, then it will not be cheap.
If you want it cheap and fast, then it will not be good.
Hugh Macleod's cloud:
Everybody is too busy with their own lives to give a damn about your book, painting, screenplay etc, especially if you haven't sold it yet. And the ones that aren't, you don't want in your life anyway.
The only guard on proficiency is practice.
To know Practice better is to more easily bypass that guard.
Sherlok Merfy's Moranda:
Anything you say or do wrong can and probably wiL be used against you
somehow, especially if you are caught.
Sherlok Merfy's Law:
Eliminating the impossible wiL leave you with the truth, unless that
leaves more than one solution, which means that either someone is carrying too much weight, or you hav insufficient evidence to eliminate enough solutions. Jujing between too little data and too much weight is an intractable political problem, so you are better off assuming that all of
your possible solutions are wrong.
Sherlok Merfy's Death Sentence:
Dying is the only way to stop making mistakes.
SherLok Merfy's Law Enforcement:
Anything you do to prohibit, curtail or limit Murphic Law
will bring more inevitable laws into force.
EkSPAMshun:
A cancerous or un-sustainable growth in ignorant electronic
transmissions --see "September That Never Ended",
"Microsoft Update", or
"Security Threat Alert". Also known as a back-to-reality movement
involving large deposits of hardware that is less than three years old.
Equilibrium:
Stock prices rise during a bull market.
Commodity prices rise during a bear market.
Both animals grow during inflation.
Trade Secrets Legislation in Texas:
Three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead.
Grossman's misquote:
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
Murphy's Twelfth Miltary Law, tersened:
Suppresive fire only works on abandoned sites.
Law of risk assessment:
All communication involves risk, so the faster computers go, the more fake and intangible the world becomes.
Law of celebrity press:
No news is good news. If the news were filled with love, peace, joy and happiness, then would commercials appeal so much.
Are gag rags a good source of habits?
What goes around comes around;
Carbon Capture: Making Earth suit dinosaurs by burning their remains even faster.
Erection Period: A time when a woman may decide how and if she will be screwed.
Election Period: A time when many people decide how screwed they will be.